So low – a modern ”The little matchseller”
by Miss M-rated
Summary: This is a modern version of HC Andersen's 'The little matchseller'. Contains violence and harsh language.


_This is a story I wrote last year in school. I really like it myself... I had no inspiration and decided to rewrite a fairytale. This is my modern version of "The little match-seller" by HC Andersen_

So low – a modern "The little match-seller"

She found herself sitting on a bench, still blurred how or when she got there. Everything was a mess, nothing was clear. She felt nauseous. What had she been doing the day before? She tried to remember what had happened the night before but it would not come clear to her. The green bench in the park had been her shelter for the night and the back ached from the stiff position she had been sleeping in.  
Jessica looked down on the ground and found a bottle by the side of the bench. Empty. A sudden illness came over her and the burning pains in the stomach made Jessica rush to her feet. On unsteady feet Jessica wobbled over to a bush and her stomach turned in side out, she got sick. Mostly fluid came up but there were also some blood, slowly the burning feelings disappeared. She took deep breaths while she spitted out the last remaining from the vomit. Slowly she could think clear again.  
With her last powers Jessica dragged herself back over to the green park bench. Heavily she sat down; she was frozen and wrapped the thin jacket tighter around her body. Perhaps Jessica should try to hide a few bills and buy herself a new jacket. She would never survive a winter in this one. Jessica stuck her hand into one of her pockets and counted the small plastic bags in it. Seven. Small fragments came clearer; Simon and some others that she didn't know had been talking to her last night. Jessica remembered money exchanging; to be sure that the bastard had not tricked her she dragged a small amount of money out from her right sock and started to count. $75. They were all there.

The bench was placed in a park in the middle of a town, a place full of life. A town with no sorrow or guilt, people did not know and obviously did not care. The sun was about rise and people were starting to wake up from a good night's rest, a few were already up working out or taking the dog for a walk.

Jessica used to go into a public toilet and wash her up; Mc Donald's was just a block from the park so she decided to go there as soon as they opened. She put her dollar bills back into her sock, rose up from the bench and started to walk out from the park. No use sitting here doing nothing. Her walk was still a bit unsteady and in her silence she swore that this was the last time she drank this much. She slowly strolled down the sidewalk looking into the ground; Jessica was so occupied by this that she almost missed:  
- Jess!  
Jessica turned around; a girl a couple of years older than herself were running up to her.  
- Brooke. How is it going?  
- You know, it could have been better if I wasn't stuck here. Jessica what have you been up to? You look horrible.  
- I found myself on a bench. She pointed at the park.  
- Oh Jessie not again! Brooke placed her arm around Jessica's shoulder to comfort her.  
- Well I'm going to Mc Donald's to fresh up, are you coming with me?

They were standing in the ladies room and washed their faces. Jessica looked at her face in the mirror with disgust. Her nose wasn't proportional to her face she found it to big, the skin was pale and unclean spotted with a lot of pimples. Her ash blond lank hair was a real mess, full of dirt and tangles. The look in her grey eyes seemed a bit hollow and they were a bit swollen. She looked down at the washbowl, Jessica asked herself why she glared at her face when she found it that ugly.  
- I met James yesterday, Brooke said while she dried her face with a couple of napkins.  
- You did, what did he say?  
- What do you think; all he cares about is "his" money. I mean we are the ones who are selling that crap. At least he can be a little thankful. He accused me for stealing money because of a missing pack.  
- What did you say?  
- That it must have slipped out from one of my pockets. Brooke smiled.  
- Well did it?  
- Hell no! I took it, you have to live to you know.  
- Yeah.  
Jessica dried her face with a napkin and a silence feel between them. Like Brooke Jessica used to steal one of the little plastic bags and she knew how furious James must have been. Jessica felt instantly that she wanted some too.  
- How much do you usually remember from the day before? Jessica looked at Brooke.  
- What do you mean buy asking that? Normally I remember most of the day, how come?  
- I don't, I don't remember much. It's blurred and dizzy.  
Jessica sat down on the cold tiled floor. Brooke looked at her friend and sat down beside her, Brooke took Jessica's hand.  
- I know it's hard, you can only hope that the future is going to be better.  
- Bullshit!  
- Jess. How much do you drink?  
- Too much, but I need to.  
- That's bullshit!  
Jessica took out a little pack and looked at and squeezed it in her hand.  
- Do you want some? She showed Brooke the pack.  
- Yes but only because you owe me.  
- Yeah right.  
After a while they both felt much more relaxed and eased, the discussion before were forgotten.

Jessica felt low, really low as she usually did afterwards. She was back in the park Brooke had something to do and now Jessica was alone. She held a photo between her hands, a photo of a young woman. Jessica had always thought that her mother looked like an angel. So beautiful. Jessica always carried this photograph with her, kept it in a pocket. She had never showed this to anyone, not even to Brooke. The photo of her mom was her biggest treasure and she wanted to keep it to herself.

That night she was sitting on a bench by a little pond, she was holding a half empty bottle in her hands. She was mumbling stuffs to herself to be her own company. Jessica wasn't aware of the man who was walking towards her.  
- Jessica.  
She looked up but she just smiled at the man.  
- Don't play foolish!  
- Me? She pointed at her breast.  
- I'm not finding this fucking amusing! I'm here to have my money so give it to me.  
- Can I keep some? Jessica bravely asked. You promised me last time that I could but you never gave me any so I want it now.  
James glared hostile at Jessica.  
- It depends on how much money you got for me now. His voice was full of coldness and detest. How many packs do you have left? Show me.  
Jessica stuck her hand into her pocket and picked up the packs. There were five small plastic bags in her hand.  
- Good girl. Nothing left?  
James stuck his hand in the pocket to make sure Jessica didn't leave a pack in it.  
- This would mean that you are going to give me $125.  
- How much do I get? Jessica asked and took a drink from the bottle.  
- You can have 10 bucks.  
_Cheap bastard_, Jessica thought to herself.  
- Now the money.  
Jessica dragged out his dollar bills from the sock and gave it to James. Hi started to count but stopped in fury and screamed:  
- 75 bucks! Where the hell is the rest of my money you little tart? James grabbed Jessica's hair and she painfully started to scream.  
- I don't know!  
- The hell you do! He started to go through all her cloths and found almost empty pack in one of her back pockets on her jeans.  
- You little liar! You have been taking my fucking crack!  
In anger he knocked Jessica hard in the face with his fist. A cracking sound could be heard when her nose broke, Jessica grumbled and tried to get lose from James who still was holding on to her hair. Her nose was bleeding.  
- Let me go!  
James hit her again in the face she fell to the ground and for a moment everything black. The pain was indescribable when the foot broke two of her ribs on the right side. Jessica tried to scream but it felt like she wasn't able to breathe it was so painful. She cried silently. Like rain the punches and kicks hit Jessica's sore body.

She couldn't tell when James left her, but when she finally dared to move he was gone. But the pain forced her to lie still on the ground. She was freezing and the night frost spread its cold breathe over the park. The first snowflakes was floating down and started wrap everything in a white blanket. Jessica wished she had her half drank bottle by her side, then she could take a few drinks to warm herself, but the bottle was standing on the bench and she wasn't able to move.  
Jessica took out the photo of her mom, and smiled sadly at the young woman.  
- You are going to keep me company mom, she whispered slowly and gave her angel like mother a kiss. Silently she sang a song over and over again for the photograph, the suddenly she could see a light around the smiling woman in the photo.  
- Don't leave me mother, she whispered weakly. Take me with you! Don't go without me, please!

The next morning a girl all covered in snow was found in the park, by a frozen little pond. Even though she was dead it seemed like she smiled and had peacefulness in her face. An old damp patched photograph was held between her hands, which she had closed to her heart.  
She had followed her mother to a place where no pain, hunger or sorrow existed she had found peace.


End file.
